I am embarrassed to say that many years, after the gifts were unwrapped and the kids were happily playing with their toys, I looked around and thought, “I forgot about Jesus. I forgot to invite the most important person to the party.”

 

I have a feeling I’m not the only one.

 

From Thanksgiving to New Year’s we run a sprint to the finish line trying fit in all the traditions:

  • decorating the cookies
  • singing the carols
  • exchanging the gifts
  • attending the parties
  • smoking the turkeys
  • hanging the lights
  • decorating the house

 

It’s enough stress to make even the merriest of elves cry, “Bah hum bug!”

If you want to forego the chaos of Christmas and focus on the King, here are a few tips to keep your holiday merry and bright:

 

1.Remember that Christmas is Jesus’s birthday. In the hustle and bustle of Black Friday, class parties, and visiting distant relatives, we forget the simple truth that it all revolves around our Savior’s birth.

 

2. Streamline your traditions. A few years ago I considered at all the traditions we had collected from my side of the family and my husband’s side of the family. I thought about the ones that brought us joy and the ones that seemed daunting. We asked our children what tradition was their favorite, and then I chose three that we incorporate every year:

  • Polar Express – We put the kids in PJ’s, give them a ticket, and they hop aboard the Polar Express (our minivan, or this year our 12-passenger van) which takes them on a ride to look at Christmas lights. In the van we serve hot chocolate, popcorn, and candy canes.
  • Family movie night – We always make a pallet on the floor, watch Elf or Home Alone, and eat pizza and popcorn in our PJ’s.
  • Christmas Eve gift – On Christmas Eve the kids get to open one gift, and it’s always a new ornament for the tree that is in their bedroom. When they grow up and start a family of their own they will have a collection of ornaments to take with them.

 

3. Know what brings you joy. Whether it’s decorations, traditions, or the five parties you’re invited to, know what things bring you joy and what weighs you down. Are you cooking your Great Aunt Mildred’s chess pie because that’s what is expected at Thanksgiving? Maybe bake that new chocolate pecan pie recipe you’ve wanted to try this year instead. If you really don’t want to go to your second cousin’s New Year’s Eve party because it’s five hours away and you have to find childcare for your three little ones, it’s O.K. to politely decline. Know what brings you joy: simple décor or decorating your home like Neiman Marcus. Attending every holiday party or only your favorite one. Baking like the Pioneer Woman or ordering pizza and spending more time with those you love. Know yourself and what brings you bliss, then live within those boundaries . . . and make no apologies for it.

 

4. Reject Pinterest Perfection. The other day my daughter was stressing (over what, I can’t remember because when you’re raising a tween, these defcon 5 moments happen hourly). I calmly replied, “Clarey, nothing in life has to be perfect.” To which she responded rather forcefully, “Everything in life has to be perfect!” Ugh. We have a lot of rough years ahead of us. Pinterest is great for inspiration; but not so great for our self-esteem at times. If you are craftastic, awesome! A wizard in the kitchen? Fabulous! I am neither of these. But I know where I excel and where I don’t, so I save my talents for areas I enjoy and don’t beat myself up over the rest. Let’s promise ourselves to enjoy Pinterest for what it is: great ideas. And reject the temptation to achieve the illusion of perfection.

 

5. Limit Gift Giving. Our family chooses to follow the “Something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read” model of gift giving. I also have friends who give their kids three gifts because Jesus received three gifts. Setting boundaries on gift-giving is a healthy practice for many reasons:

  • It reminds kids that Christmas is about Jesus’s birthday, not about the latest Xbox.
  • It keeps our budgets in check.
  • It helps parents reign ourselves in if gifts is our love-language.
  • It helps us focus on quality time vs. quantity of stuff.

 

6. Take a deep breath. Amid the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, take a few moments to read a good book. Go to a yoga class. Grab coffee with a friend. Don’t let this month fly by without feeling like a normal version of yourself.

 

Let’s us not spend this advent season focusing on doing or buying; rather let our hearts cry out:

O Come Let Us Adore Him!



Dear Corbin –

Let me start by saying you are the BEST surprise we never knew we needed! God, however, always knows what we need.

  • God knew that CeCe needed to grow up with her baby brother.
  • God knew that Campbell needed a roommate and a best friend.
  • God knew that Clarey needed another little one to mother.
  • God knew that Carter needed someone to listen to him read.
  • God knew that Dad and I needed our faith stretched and challenged.
  • God knew that our entire family needed a little caboose with a gentle and joyful spirit.

 

 

When I first knew about you, I wrestled with whether or not I could handle the demands of five kids. A dear friend said to me, “Elizabeth, I know these days are difficult for you, but one day it will all be worth it. Your kids are going to do amazing things, whether it’s Carter giving a big speech, or that foster baby you almost didn’t take . . .” and I don’t remember another word she said because the moment she mentioned you, you became real to me. You were no longer a baby I hadn’t met . . . you were my son.

When people find out that you are CeCe’s biological brother, they often say, “Oh, well of course you had to say, Yes. What else could you do?” But we want you to know that bringing you into our family was not a decision made out of obligation. You were not a duty. You were and you are a privilege.

 

 

  • You were a decision made out of prayer. We prayed for wisdom and guidance. We wanted to provide for Carter, Clarey, Campbell, and CeCe and give them all they needed and deserved, yet we wanted to serve you well too.
  • You were a decision made out of love. We realized that we had enough love for more children and we knew you would have enough love for all of us.
  • You were a decision made out of wonder. We envisioned your future with us and without us, and we didn’t like the unknown. We realize the future is never a known commodity, but now we get a front row seat to watch your future unfold and there is no place I would rather sit!

Corbin Ray Oates

In the Bible God often gives people a new name—a name of significance. We, too, gave you a name that carries with it great meaning.

Corbin means “raven”:

“Consider the ravens:

They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn;

yet God feeds them.

And how much more valuable you are than birds!” (Luke 12:24)

 

We look back at the details and circumstances that occurred years before you were even born and we know that God has always been caring for you . . . you are that valuable! There will never be a moment when God is not caring for your every need.

Ray means “radiant” or “beam of light” and that is exactly what you are. You are a light and a ray of sunshine. You have never had a bad day (except for the day you got your adenoids out—that was a really bad day). You are always happy, easy-going, full of life, and ready to snuggle. You are our a gentle giant who exudes joy, even when you bump your head or step in an ant pile. You are named after Daddy’s dad: Bobby Kenneth Ray Oates, or Bob-O as the grandkids called him before he went home to be with Jesus. You and Bob-O have birthdays just one day apart, you both have infectious laughs, and you also have similar physiques, including rotund bellies that shake when you laugh. You would have loved playing together and I know Bob-O would have spent hours chasing you around the backyard. Your Bob-O would have loved you so.


If nothing else, remember this, Corbin:

You were created by the same God who created the entire universe.

He knows you.

He loves you.

He has big plans for you.

Your life matters.

 

And we are honored to play a small part in your big life.

We love you.

Mom, Dad, Carter, Clarey, Campbell, and Cecelia

 

 


Related Posts:

A Letter to My Daughter on Adoption Day


Last month I suffered a major disappointment: the book I have worked tirelessly to write, promote, and get into the hands of women everywhere will not be released on October 24 as planned, but in early January 2018. This was enough to drive me to eat a carton of Blue Bell. At midnight. Alone. But I refrained.

 

Now, it might not seem like a big deal to you, but when I considered the countless hours I spent organizing a book launch team, planning a book launch party, and working with my social media marketing manager to prepare for the October release day, only to have to press the undo, pause, and restart buttons, it was This is Us-level sobbing.

 

Fortunately, this is a book release and not my marriage—not the one relationship I look to for comfort and safety as I move through this chaotic life. But there are have been days and seasons when my husband hurt and disappointed me . . . and times when I have done the same to him. Can you relate? I’m guessing you can.

 

So how do we respond when our spouse disappoints us? I’m not talking about a grave offense like adultery or abandonment. I’m talking about the everyday let downs that leave us feeling unimportant, unseen and unloved:

  • They bust the monthly budget.
  • They forget we have a girls’ night out planned, and they call to say they are working late tonight.
  • They say something harsh when what we needed was compassion and understanding.

 

What should we do when our spouse disappoints us?

  1. We pray. We ask God to show us our part in the situation. What led to the disappointment? How does God want us to respond to our spouse? Then we pray for the courage to approach our spouse with truth, grace, and forgiveness. The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. (Psalm 145:18)

 

  1. We seek wise counsel. It is a good idea to seek the advice of someone we trust: a mentor, pastor, Bible study teacher, close friend. This is not the time to air out our dirty laundry on social media, ask our mentor to indulge in our self-pity, or ask others to take sides. This is the time to glean from the wisdom of someone who has walked our path.

 

  1. We communicate with truth and grace. Most of us have the tendency to lean too much toward truth (we share the facts with no regard to our spouse’s feelings) or toward grace (we pardon our spouse without revealing our own pain, then we let it build up to dangerous levels, ready to explode). Let us muster up every ounce of courage within us and then tell our spouse what they did to disappoint us while offering them grace and forgiveness knowing that we will disappoint them at some point as well.

 

  1. We seek restoration. Scripture is clear that “the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8) The enemy wants nothing more than to cause division and destruction in marriage. It is our job as Christ-followers to seek restoration in marriage. We must work our way toward one another, not let ourselves drift away.

 

  1. We prevent repetition. Talk with your spouse about what led up to the disappointing situation so history won’t repeat itself. The only thing worse than being hurt once by your spouse is being hurt twice . . . by the same offense.

 

  1. We keep it in perspective. As I mentioned before, disappointments are a part of life and marriage. But they are just disappointments—not devastations. If your spouse forgets your anniversary, remember that it’s not the same as gambling away your retirement. So many of our day-to-day disappointments are mild in comparison to the world’s hurts.

 

  1. We move forward. We consciously decide to leave our disappointment in the past and move confidently and joyfully into the future. We use this time as a learning experience and commit to growing closer to our spouse because of the knowledge we gained.

 


psst – I’m Not Doing It All

People often say to me, “I don’t know how you do it all.” I don’t tell you this to brag or sound prideful. I tell you this because I want you to know that, just like every other wife and mom, I am not doing it all. I am drowning . . . just like you.

Most nights my family eats grilled cheese sandwiches or corn dogs because I don’t even think about dinner until about 4:00 p.m. We eat green beans out of a can and sometimes I give my kids apples without washing them (I know, we’re rebels).

As much as I love organization and order, my house looks like a professional organizer’s before picture. Shoes in the bathroom and towels in the bedroom, remote control in the Ziploc bag drawer (WTH?), and Beanie Boos in the freezer (don’t ask). My carefully thought-out fixer-upper looks like a frat house on a Sunday morning.

Reality-Wish

Our diet is abysmal and my house is a wreck. Can you relate? I am limping along in this journey called life and most days I am just praying I make it to the finish line. How many more years until my youngest graduates??? I am tired, overwhelmed, and most days I feel like a failure because I set the bar so high that I will never be able to pole vault over it.

But two things I know—two things I cling to—are that God is full of grace, and so is my family. God has given me more than I can handle, and for that I am grateful. God knows I need to be in burdened if I am to rely on Him. I am independent, strong, and determined; therefore, God knew that if He gave me a predictable, manageable life, then I would have no need for Him. So He gave me A LOT: a lot of responsibility, a lot of people, a lot of chaos to love, teach, manage, protect, and nurture.

And my family. They give me so much more grace than I give to myself or to others. They are beautiful teachers. My husband doesn’t complain when I disappear for the evening to write or “forget” to do the laundry (again).

My kids don’t complain when I forget about crazy sock day or don’t have homemade brownies waiting for them after school. They won’t think back on these years with memories of delicious meals or creative crafts. But they will remember sitting around the dinner table together (even if we ate Hot Pockets), family dance parties, nightly prayers, and conversations about our Savior.

Friends, no one is doing it all. Not me. Not you. Not even Jesus did it all. Scripture tells us he left the crowd to pray, which means he called a time out on productivity to connect with his Father. He also moved from town to town, which means he said “No” to some people so he could say, “Yes” to others. He disappointed people, but he never disappointed his Father. How? Because he kept his eye on the end goal.

What is your end goal?

Mine is to love God and love others. To help others know that hope and healing from their past is possible, and that God offers redemption and restoration to everyone. So if the laundry doesn’t get done or we eat another grilled cheese sandwich so I can pour into one more person, so be it. I don’t think my family will mind. They don’t expect me to do it all.

Let yourself off the hook, friend.

No one is doing it all.

Not me. Not you. No one.

And that’s the way it’s supposed to be.

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In light of the Las Vegas devastation that just occurred, I thought it fitting to pause and consider how we can talk to our children about death and tragedy. When we were kids our parents could turn off the evening news to protect our innocence. Today, however, our kids have access to 24-hour news via the internet. Sometimes my kids even know what’s going on in the world before I do thanks to iPad time at school; meanwhile I’m at home wrangling two toddlers and reading Go Dog Go!

I know it’s tempting to protect our children for as long as possible, but we must learn to balance shielding them from iniquity with informing them of worldwide events. They need to know that trouble, evil, and misfortune occurs in this world because the Bible promises us,

“. . . In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

If we are raising our kids in a world where we cannot protect them from death and tragedy, how can we talk to them about these things?

 

4 Things to Remember When Talking to Your Kids About Death and Tragedy

 

  • Use age appropriate language.

    My kids range in age from one to twelve, so the information I give my three-year-old will differ from what I tell my ten-year-old. Consider words, phrases, and tone of voice when talking to each child, and also consider their maturity levels. Also think about your child’s temperament. If your child is sensitive and compassionate, then issues such as death and natural disasters might be difficult for his heart to handle. You might need to unpack the details in multiple talks instead of blindsiding him with one major conversation.

 

  • Be honest.

    If you try to protect your child by twisting or sugarcoating the truth, you will develop of pattern of coddling her. Do our children need to hear all the gory details about a school shooting? No. But do they need to know enough truth so when their best friend talks about it on the playground they know what is fact and what is fiction? Yes. Answer her questions honestly, yet using your filter of age appropriateness. Which brings us to my next point.

 

  • Don’t avoid tough questions.

    Kids are inquisitive. They often ask questions we avoid. They face feelings we like to stuff. If we won’t answer their questions, they’ll ask their BFF, and I’m pretty sure we don’t want an eight or thirteen-year-old imposing their wisdom about death and faith. If you don’t know the answer to a question, it’s O.K. to say, “I don’t know.” Your child will appreciate the fact that you are human. Some tragedies are beyond our comprehension.

 

As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
-Isaiah 55:9

 

When it comes to situations such as the Las Vegas massacre, here are some questions your children might ask, and some answers you might consider:

  • “Why did he do it?”

    • Because his mind was not in a healthy place.
    • We don’t know, but we can pray for the people he hurt and their families.
    • We don’t know, but we can pray for his family because they are suffering now that he is gone.
    • We don’t know, but we can pray that something like this never happens again.

 

  • Why does God let bad things like this happen?

    God doesn’t allow bad things like this to happen; people allow bad things to happen. Remember when Eve took the bite out of the fruit and Adam followed her lead? That is when sin entered the world. (Genesis 3) Ever since then people have had the choice to do what is right or to do what is wrong. The man who hurt these people chose to do what is wrong. If God stopped people from doing bad things, then God would have created robots, not people. God created people who have free will to love Him, or hate Him; to do what is right, or to do what is wrong.

 

  • Is the man who chose to do what was wrong in heaven?

    We don’t know. Doing bad things doesn’t prevent us from going to heaven, just like doing good things doesn’t get you a free pass into haven. The only way into heaven is to know Jesus Christ as your Savior.

 

This is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.
-John 17:3

Anytime we lose a loved one, endure a difficult situation, or walk our child through tragedy, it’s always an opportune time to remind our child (and ourselves) that one day everything that is wrong will one day be made right.

 

But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, where righteousness dwells.
-2 Peter 3:13

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Your response to last week’s post was so encouraging! Apparently I’m not the only one who thinks organizing closets is a fun activity and cleaning out the garage is a stellar date night.

 

Adulting is tough.

We ride the train of responsibility so long that we forget to hop off occasionally to do some sight seeing.

Thankfully, summer ushers in less routine, less commitment, and more free time—the perfect opportunity to take a break from the usual, rushed pace of life to foster connection with our spouse.

If you’re ready to have fun with your spouse this summer, but don’t want to settle for dinner and a movie (BO-RING), I have the perfect gift just for you . . .

This is a FREE downloadable guide full of creative, mostly inexpensive dates guaranteed to get you off the train of obligation and into the world of fun with your spouse!

 

Click here to download your FREE copy of 60 Out of the Box Dates. 


During the school year, Brandon and I created an evening routine that would make even Rosita—the multitasking, singing mama pig on Sing—proud. Even though our five kids range in age from 11-months to 11 years, we manage to get them all in bed at a decent hour with enough time left in the evening for mildly coherent conversation and an episode of Big Little Lies (is now a good time to start petitioning for Season 2?).

Now, with only five days into summer vacay, it’s wheels-off parenting: later bedtimes, family movie nights, ruthless card games (where I dominate, I might add. Letting kids win is for suckers!), and family chicken fights in the pool (can you tell our family is a bit competitive?).

But summer isn’t just a time for kids to unwind. It’s a great time for couples to decompress too.

So, what is the best thing you can do with your spouse this summer?

Have fun!

As adults, sometimes we forego fun for several reasons.

  1. We are slaves to responsibility. I am a Type A, ESTJ. Just because I’m writing a blog on having fun doesn’t mean I’m the Play-doh Fun Factory always looking to entertain. I am all-business, all the time. But when responsibility overshadows relationships, I know that my need for control is becoming an idol. I have a feeling I’m not alone.

Troubles multiply for those who chase after other gods.
    I will not take part in their sacrifices of blood
    or even speak the names of their gods.

– Psalm 16:4 (NLT)

 

  1. We follow a routine. Some adults love a routine; some buck against it. Either way, the school year demands a loose predictability that we can’t shake. Work, school, homework. Rushing the kids to piano, soccer, and ballet, then back home in time for dinner at 8:30pm. Then it’s off to bed so we can wake up and do it all over again. We might schedule the occasional date night (woo hoo!) but inevitably we bounce from week to week and month to month, watching the leaves change colors while we switch out our holiday décor, but never really noticing what’s going on right in front of us.

 

 

  1. We forget how to have fun. It’s scientifically proven that as we age, we lose our ability to think creatively. Which explains why I can never figure out what to buy Brandon for Father’s Day (PM me if you have any ideas). Adults get so bogged down with the heaviness of life that they forget how to let go—even just for a few hours—and enjoy their spouse.

 Anxiety weighs down the heart,
    but a kind word cheers it up.

– Proverbs 12:25 (NIV)

  1. We don’t give ourselves permission to have fun. We become martyrs and treat life like a grim chore filled with career obligations, family expectations, financial responsibility, household tasks, and service (hello endless amounts of foster care paperwork). Sometimes we fail to pause long enough to enjoy the very life we are living. We forget that having fun is even an option in life, and if we ever do find ourselves rockin’ out at a concert, lounging on the beach, or enjoying a sunset, we feel guilty for not being responsible or productive.

 

Ideas for Having Fun

God created the changing seasons for many reasons, one of them being to change the rhythm of our lives. Summer is a great time to press the reset button on your routine and have fun with your spouse! If you need some ideas on how to have fun this summer, I got ya covered! Next week I’ll reveal 90 ways to have fun with your spouse (without the kids)! Yes, 90 WAYS!!! Plus a couple bonus items. So stay tuned!

 

 


Mother’s Day should be a day filled with celebration, joy, laughter, and thanksgiving . . . and the hubs doing all the cooking. Can I get an Amen? We should be hugging the mamas who raised us, receiving sticky kisses from the toddlers, and maybe even receiving a, “You’re pretty cool, Mom,” from the teenagers.

But for some women, Mother’s Day is the one day they’d like to fast-forward. The day they’d like to spend sequestered in their bedroom with a pint of Halo Top and reading People Magazine. It’s a day that digs up past wounds or laughs in their face because of a dream unrealized.


Mother’s Day Past

If you grew up in a dysfunctional family, Mother’s Day might bring to mind painful memories you’d rather forget. Maybe your relationship with your mom is difficult at best, making Mother’s Day awkward, exhausting, and even depressing.

I don’t know your relationship with your mom, but I do know this: you might not have had a good mom, but you can be a good mom. You might not have had a family who chased after God’s best, but you can create a family that chases after God’s best. And it can start TODAY.

You can honor your mom–even on Mother’s Day–by showing her love and respect that meets both your needs. Drawing healthy boundaries will protect and serve both of you, and the book, Boundaries is an excellent resource that teaches you how to do this.

Here are some other book recommendations to help you:


Mother’s Day Present

Many of you weep at the thought of Mother’s Day because of the empty womb you’re forced to tote around day in and day out. Many of you grieve the child you said goodbye to far too soon. I can’t pretend to understand this feeling . . . the ache in your belly and in your soul. But I do understand loss. I understand wanting something so deeply that your bones ache. I understand wanting something and God saying, “No,” or “Not now.” It seems confusing and unfair and not at all like the compassionate God we learn about on Sunday mornings.

If you are currently walking this path, instead of reaching for the Blue Bell or shutting out the world around you, I encourage you to rest in this truth: the same God who is telling you, “No,” or, “Not now,” is the same God who will one day say, “Yes.” His, “Yes,” might be exactly what you prayed for, or it might look nothing like you hoped. But eventually He will say “Yes” in some way:

  • “Yes, you can love this child.”
  • “Yes, you can mentor this child.”
  • “Yes, you can mother all the children in your class.”
  • “Yes, you can rock the babies in the hospital.”
  • “Yes, you can foster this child.”
  • “Yes, you can welcome all these neighborhood kids into your home, because their mothers are strung out and passed out and if you don’t mother them, no one will.”
  • “Yes, you can adopt.”
  • ‘Yes, you can give birth.”

Book recommendations:


Mother’s Day Future

No matter your past, no matter your present, God wants to move you into an abundant future.

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord. ‘Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.'” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Whether or not you have children, you can start celebrating a healthier, more joyful Mother’s Day by simply:

  • Praying
  • Spending time in God’s Word
  • Connecting with other believers

 

PRAY

Would you go a week without talking to your best friend or your spouse? I hope not. You probably wouldn’t have a very healthy relationship. Yet, many of us think nothing of ignoring God for a week . . . or longer. I encourage you to spend time in prayer with God, and not just talking AT time, but listening TO Him. You never know what He wants to say to you on any given day.

 

SPENDING TIME IN GOD’S WORD

Everything we need to know about ourselves and how to relate to others is found in Scripture.

  •  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)
  • Do to others as you would have them do to you. (Luke 6:31)
  • Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. (Philippians 2:4)

If you want to know how to thrive this Mother’s Day, God will show you through His Word.

 

CONNECTING WITH OTHER BELIEVERS

We all need that one friend we can call to talk us down from a ledge. So when you’re at your family’s Mother’s Day brunch and your crazy Aunt Martha double dips in the salsa for the 49th time, you need to know you can text your BFF stat.

But friends who love Jesus, friends who will encourage you and hold you accountable go deeper than emergency text messages. They help you through dark days and celebrate with you in good times. Paul had Silas, Mary had Martha, Naomi had Ruth. Who is your person?

Just like being a mother, Mother’s Day can be a dichotomy: joy and pain, fun and work, laughter and tears, accomplishments and regrets. So wherever you are with Mother’s Day, know that it’s O.K. to have a good cry.

The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.

– Psalm 34:17


Over the years, many authors have claimed to know the secret to a wife’s happiness: good communication, healthy conflict resolution skills, and a rich emotional and spiritual connection. But author Jen Weaver contends that today’s Millennial generation needs more than a quick three-step checklist; they want to explore marriage on a deeper level. Which is why Weaver—a Millennial herself—approaches marriage, and a wife’s role, with a completely fresh perspective.

I met Weaver this summer at the Declare Conference and immediately admired her spunk and enthusiasm for writing and women’s ministry. This same approachable demeanor leaps off the pages of A Wife’s Secret to Happiness: Receiving, Honoring, and Celebrating God’s Role for You in Your Marriage. In her book, Weaver reveals eleven secrets that help wives find happiness in marriage. Some of those include:

  • striving for unity
  • allowing our husbands to provide
  • pursuing our dreams

 

Not only that, but Weaver challenges readers to discover their “wifestyle.”

What exactly is a “wifestyle”? Weaver explains that for every area of marriage, wives develop a pattern of behavior, or “wifestyle.”

“If we don’t live with intention, our wifestyle can become . . . unbecoming . . . as we develop unhealthy perspectives, attitudes, and habits in interactions with our husbands. Obedience to God’s instruction aligns us with his will, allowing us to receive the blessings he desires to impart in our lives.”

In other words, if we don’t live with forethought and according to God’s Word, then we probably won’t like the wife we turn out to be; we will look more like the world and less like Jesus. But if our daily decisions line up with what God teaches in the Bible, then we will become the wife God desires (not to mention the wife our husband desires and the wife we want to become).

For example:

  • When striving for unity, do you have a “duel wifestyle” or “dance wifestyle?”
  • When giving your husband space to provide for the family, do you have a “demand wifestyle” or “supply wifestyle?”
  • When pursuing your dreams, do you have an “MVP wifestyle” or “Dream Team wifestyle?”

To help readers discover their wifestyle and the secret to happiness, Weaver includes many unique and practical elements throughout the book:

  • Wifestyle testimonies
  • Quizzes to help readers identify their individual wifestyle
  • Links to downloadable printable versions of the wifestyle quizzes
  • Links to downloadable articles relating to each chapter
  • Links to downloadable worksheets
  • Links to downloadable printables
  • Reflection questions

If you want to discover ways to cultivate greater happiness in your marriage, A Wife’s Secret to Happiness offers helpful wisdom, tools, and activities. Learning your individual “wifestyle” is one component to discovering the secret to happiness, but you must also uncover areas of growth and gratitude leading you to joy, contentment, and peace. Only then will you discover a wife’s secret to happiness.

 

TO WIN A COPY OF A Wife’s Secret to Happiness:

  1. subscribe to the blog
  2. follow me on Instagram
  3. Tag 3 friends on Instagram

Winner will be announced Friday, May 12 at 1:30PM