Mother’s Day should be a day filled with celebration, joy, laughter, and thanksgiving . . . and the hubs doing all the cooking. Can I get an Amen? We should be hugging the mamas who raised us, receiving sticky kisses from the toddlers, and maybe even receiving a, “You’re pretty cool, Mom,” from the teenagers.
But for some women, Mother’s Day is the one day they’d like to fast-forward. The day they’d like to spend sequestered in their bedroom with a pint of Halo Top and reading People Magazine. It’s a day that digs up past wounds or laughs in their face because of a dream unrealized.
Mother’s Day Past
If you grew up in a dysfunctional family, Mother’s Day might bring to mind painful memories you’d rather forget. Maybe your relationship with your mom is difficult at best, making Mother’s Day awkward, exhausting, and even depressing.
I don’t know your relationship with your mom, but I do know this: you might not have had a good mom, but you can be a good mom. You might not have had a family who chased after God’s best, but you can create a family that chases after God’s best. And it can start TODAY.
You can honor your mom–even on Mother’s Day–by showing her love and respect that meets both your needs. Drawing healthy boundaries will protect and serve both of you, and the book, Boundaries is an excellent resource that teaches you how to do this.
Here are some other book recommendations to help you:
Mother’s Day Present
Many of you weep at the thought of Mother’s Day because of the empty womb you’re forced to tote around day in and day out. Many of you grieve the child you said goodbye to far too soon. I can’t pretend to understand this feeling . . . the ache in your belly and in your soul. But I do understand loss. I understand wanting something so deeply that your bones ache. I understand wanting something and God saying, “No,” or “Not now.” It seems confusing and unfair and not at all like the compassionate God we learn about on Sunday mornings.
If you are currently walking this path, instead of reaching for the Blue Bell or shutting out the world around you, I encourage you to rest in this truth: the same God who is telling you, “No,” or, “Not now,” is the same God who will one day say, “Yes.” His, “Yes,” might be exactly what you prayed for, or it might look nothing like you hoped. But eventually He will say “Yes” in some way:
- “Yes, you can love this child.”
- “Yes, you can mentor this child.”
- “Yes, you can mother all the children in your class.”
- “Yes, you can rock the babies in the hospital.”
- “Yes, you can foster this child.”
- “Yes, you can welcome all these neighborhood kids into your home, because their mothers are strung out and passed out and if you don’t mother them, no one will.”
- “Yes, you can adopt.”
- ‘Yes, you can give birth.”
- When Empty Arms Become a Heavy Burden
- Moments for Couples Who Long for Children
- Surviving the Loss of a Child: Support for Grieving Parents
Mother’s Day Future
No matter your past, no matter your present, God wants to move you into an abundant future.
“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord. ‘Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.'” (Jeremiah 29:11)
Whether or not you have children, you can start celebrating a healthier, more joyful Mother’s Day by simply:
- Spending time in God’s Word
- Connecting with other believers
Would you go a week without talking to your best friend or your spouse? I hope not. You probably wouldn’t have a very healthy relationship. Yet, many of us think nothing of ignoring God for a week . . . or longer. I encourage you to spend time in prayer with God, and not just talking AT time, but listening TO Him. You never know what He wants to say to you on any given day.
SPENDING TIME IN GOD’S WORD
Everything we need to know about ourselves and how to relate to others is found in Scripture.
- Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)
- Do to others as you would have them do to you. (Luke 6:31)
- Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. (Philippians 2:4)
If you want to know how to thrive this Mother’s Day, God will show you through His Word.
CONNECTING WITH OTHER BELIEVERS
We all need that one friend we can call to talk us down from a ledge. So when you’re at your family’s Mother’s Day brunch and your crazy Aunt Martha double dips in the salsa for the 49th time, you need to know you can text your BFF stat.
But friends who love Jesus, friends who will encourage you and hold you accountable go deeper than emergency text messages. They help you through dark days and celebrate with you in good times. Paul had Silas, Mary had Martha, Naomi had Ruth. Who is your person?
Just like being a mother, Mother’s Day can be a dichotomy: joy and pain, fun and work, laughter and tears, accomplishments and regrets. So wherever you are with Mother’s Day, know that it’s O.K. to have a good cry.
The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.
– Psalm 34:17