Let’s face it, we live in a culture driven by success. You are what you do.
So for this Type-A, ESTJ, SAHM, anytime someone asks me, “What do you do?,” I immediately feel defeated. We all know that ten years worth of making babies (three biological and one adopted) doesn’t count as a vocation in the world’s eyes. And while I long to boast something impressive like, “I’m a doctor,” or “I save the whales,” I quickly reply, “I’m a stay-at-home-mom,” and then change the subject to more crucial matters such as, “Are you watching the new show, The Family? That show is messed up!!!”
I know, without a doubt, that being a SAHM is a worthy endeavor. I have many friends who love this season of life and they navigate it well. They have taught me so much about motherhood like how to disciple my children, how to sneak vegetables into their diet, and what to do when I accidentally put a diaper in the dryer. Many of my friends bask in the glory of popsicle stick crafts, storytime at the library, and lazy mornings of PJ’s and Paw Patrol, but it’s just not my jam.
Cathedral in the Woods
This weekend I had the blessing and privilege of traveling to Argyle, Texas, just north of Dallas, and attending The W Conference. This beautiful, ethereal retreat in the woods equips women in the workplace to grow in their relationship with Jesus while living out their faith wherever God calls them.
A couple Waco friends who were speaking at the event invited me to go, and I admit I felt a little intimidated. It wasn’t that I was traveling with über successful women that had me reaching for a paper bag and breathing deeply; it was the conference description:
tailored for women in the workplace
Ugh. That’s doesn’t include me, I thought. I don’t have a workplace. I sit alone in my closet hacking away at my computer. When I feel super fancy I trek down to Common Grounds and try to blend in with the co-eds who are so young they could have baked in my womb. I am not a professional. I don’t dress up in Ann Taylor suits and attend business meetings and create TPS reports and mentor interns. I don’t belong at this conference. Who am I to go? I should probably just stay home and watch another episode of Paw Patrol.
But then I read the next sentence:
This year’s W Conference will be focused on beholding the fullness of God to
ultimately see ourselves through the lens of Christ,
washing away the distorted view of ourselves and of others.
So reminiscent of the very words I penned in If You Could See as Jesus Sees. Maybe, in some tiny space, I could belong after all.
Your Calling
Christina Crenshaw spoke at the conference and encouraged us that our vocation is more than our job; our vocation is our ministry. She said,
Vocation comes from the Latin word meaning “to be called.”
As I listened, I realized for the very first time why, for the past ten years, I have secretly–and unnecessarily–hung my head in shame when people ask me what I do. It’s not that I think there is anything wrong with being a SAHM. In fact, I think it is actually a very beautiful and noble calling. This is not a SAHM vs. working mom debate. This is a realization of who God is calling me to be, and the courage to accept His call.
Thanks to Christina’s wisdom, a little self-reflection, and lot of the Holy Spirit, I finally recognized that I was actually hiding behind my SAHM label. Instead of letting people know about what I was doing during nap time and bedtime and Paw Patrol time, I hid. I hid in my house. I hid behind my children. I hid behind my computer. I hid behind this label.
I devalued my role in ministry because I didn’t think I was making a big enough impact. I didn’t have enough Twitter followers. I didn’t have enough speaking engagements. I didn’t have enough connections. I minimized my contribution to my community because it didn’t seem as important as those with more mainstream jobs. For the past ten years I downplayed my vocation . . . my calling. While my husband was always quick to tell people my accomplishments, I would never tell people about:
- the books I wrote
- my blog
- the monthly column I write for my city’s magazine
- my speaking engagements
- the young women I mentor
- the incredible work of restoration God has done in my life
- our nonprofit, Project Restoration Ministry
- my efforts to bring more awareness to the foster care crisis in our country
Now I see that I actually have been working, and not because I have a job that takes place in an office building, or because I sit in a cubicle, or because I collect a paycheck every two weeks (although that would be awesome). I work because I am following God’s call for my life.
So I will no longer call myself a stay-at-home-mom.
To continue labeling myself as such would mean discounting every opportunity God has given me. From now on I will walk with confidence through the doors God opens, and I will own the title of work-at-home-mom. I will sit in my closet and hack away at my computer. I will go to Common Grounds and pray over those sweet co-eds as they chat about roommate issues, potential mission trips, and so much possibility.
And when someone asks, “What do you do?,” I will hold my head up high and I will answer them, “I am a wife and a mother. I am a writer and a speaker. I am a teacher and a mentor. I spin lots of plates and pray fervently that not one of them drops. Every day looks different, but that’s how it is when following God’s call. Now, more importantly, have you seen that new show, The Family?”
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Related Posts
Is There Really Room at the Table?
Three Steps to Overcoming Inadequacy
Are You Having an Identity Crisis?
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If you missed The W Conference, you can still learn more about seeing yourself through the lens of Christ. If You Could See as Jesus Sees is available on Amazon, Christianbook.com, or you can find it at Barnes & Noble, Mardel, and your local book seller.
